Center of “Me”

5113888-paving-stones-with-circleIt feels like we have a center, yes? I certainly thought so for most of my life…until one day I noticed I (as anita) was a well-developed concept and set of beliefs. Logically, and with all you have been taught, you believe you can feel life, aliveness, streaming through your body and that there is a center to the streaming, that there is a you, a thinker, a doer, who is experiencing the streaming aliveness in time and space.

Hey, I’m in a minority here, since the vast majority of the world believes there is a personal consciousness with private thoughts experiencing the world. Nada my dear friend. There is not. But please do not believe me….explore this for yourself directly.  The unexamined life is not worth living according to Socrates and Plato.

And since you can feel this aliveness streaming as sensations of sight, sounds, touch, tastes, smells, thoughts, emotions, and feelings, you are certain the indivisible symphony of perception has a separate you to experience it…but there is no separate perceiver: what seems to be appearing, if anything could appear at all, is impersonal consciousness.

This wondrous aliveness fill you, is you, dissolves you, leaving you feeling breathless. And you feel it but you cannot capture it, nor step outside of it, since it is undivided, limitless, and has no edges.

And for those I’ve spoken with who have seen the end of seeking, seeing the final answer is nearly unbearable…realizing you are it, that it is you, and all there is is impersonal consciousness dreaming a relative dream, and not even that.  And it can feel like the death of all you know and love. You can be rendered immobile while the acute shock of it all seeps in and wipes the slate as clean as a whistle.  For me it felt like a protracted dark night of the soul and I retreated from society for several years.   anita

unexamined-life

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